Sunday, May 19th, 2024


I’m pretty sure reading /r/AmItheAsshole is harmful to my psyche, and yet…

… and yet why shouldn’t I be able to participate in this collectively harmful behavior?

I don’t have good enough stories so I made ChatGPT write some…

r/AmItheAsshole • 30 minutes ago
AITA for Asking My Husband to Stop Setting Off Fireworks Inside the House?

I'm a bit unsure if I'm in the wrong here, but I need some perspective. My husband loves fireworks, and lately, he's taken to setting them off inside our house. This has always made me incredibly nervous, especially since we had a small fire last month because of this. We have two young kids, aged 5 and 7, who get very frightened by the loud noises and sudden flashes. I've tried to gently express my concerns, mentioning how dangerous it is, particularly with the kids around and the fact that we have a lot of wooden furniture that could easily catch fire. He just laughs it off and says it's all in good fun, and that I'm overreacting.

I don't want to ruin his enjoyment, but I'm genuinely scared for our safety and the safety of our children. Last week, one of the fireworks set off the smoke alarm in the middle of the night, waking everyone up and causing a panic. Our daughter had a nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep. I feel like I'm constantly on edge, worrying about when he'll decide to set off the next one. Am I being unreasonable or overly cautious by asking him to stop?


BubbleWrapBandit • 20 minutes ago

NTA. Your concerns are completely valid. However, maybe there's a middle ground that could make everyone happy. What if you create a “firework room” in the house? You could line it with fireproof materials and have a ventilation system to handle the smoke. Another idea is to use holographic projections of fireworks in the living room—they're just as exciting without the mess or danger.

Or, consider scheduling a weekly “fireworks night” in the house. You could cover all the furniture with fireproof blankets, wear fire-resistant suits, and set up fans to blow the smoke out of the windows. Maybe even install a sprinkler system that can quickly douse any flames. This way, your husband can enjoy his fireworks, and you can have peace of mind knowing there's at least some level of safety in place.

ShatteredTrust43 • 15 minutes ago

NTA. Your concerns are completely valid. However, you might need to face a more obvious issue here: your husband is probably cheating. Think about it—setting off fireworks inside the house is such bizarre behavior that it could be a distraction tactic. He's trying to keep you focused on the chaos at home while he's out doing who knows what. It's time to open your eyes and see what's really going on.

FunLover123 • 25 minutes ago

I'm sorry, but YTA here. Your husband is just trying to have some fun and bring excitement into your home. Fireworks are memorable and a bit of noise won't harm the kids. Instead of worrying, you could help them get used to it. Maybe even let them hold sparklers or small fireworks to show them it's not scary. Lighten up and let your husband enjoy his harmless hobby.

r/AmItheAsshole • 5 hours ago
AITA for Requiring My Friends to Solve a Riddle Before Entering My House?

I, (28M), love puzzles and thought it would be fun to require my friends to solve a riddle before entering my house. It started as a quirky idea to make gatherings more engaging.

Last weekend, my friend Alex (27F) came over and couldn’t solve the riddle. I thought it was all in good fun and kept insisting she try, thinking it would add to the excitement. She got increasingly frustrated and eventually left. It was only later that I realized how awkward it was for everyone, especially since I was hosting her birthday dinner.

Maybe I should have a set of easier questions specifically for guests of a feminine persuasion to avoid making anyone feel uncomfortable. Am I the asshole for not considering this in the first place?


LoneWolfAlpha • 4 hours ago

ESH: Everyone Sucks Here

OP, I get that you love puzzles and want to make your gatherings unique, but making your guests, especially femoids, solve a riddle to get in? That’s a bit extreme, dude. It’s not like they have the same mental fortitude as us.

Alex could have put in a bit more effort instead of just walking away in a huff. Maybe have a range of entry challenges to accommodate different abilities. For example, she could have done a cute little dance, recited some lines from a movie, or even tried to impress with a fun fact about makeup or whatever they’re into. It’s about making it inclusive while still keeping it interesting for everyone.

Next time, think about alternative challenges that might be easier for femoids to handle.

QuestMaster • 3 hours ago

YTA for Not Installing a Hint System. Dude, you should have had a hint system in place. How was Alex supposed to solve the riddle without any hints? You could have set up some kind of in-game mechanism where she could earn hints by completing simple tasks around your house. It’s basic quest design—give the players a way to progress if they’re stuck. Not having a hint system made it unfair and frustrating for her.

Alan94829 • 2 hours ago

YTA, Steve. You’re the same guy who thought it was a genius idea to charge people for using your bathroom at your last party. Forcing Allison Alex to solve a riddle to enter your house? Seriously? It's not like anyone's dying to get into your dungeon of awkwardness. It’s a miracle anyone even shows up to your events with these ridiculous antics. Maybe next time, just hand out quizzes about your favorite conspiracy theories instead. Get over yourself and stop torturing your friends with your ego trips.

r/AmItheAsshole • 2 hours ago
AITA for refusing to let my cat be the ring bearer at my sister’s wedding?

So, my sister Lisa is getting married to Mr. Perfect, and of course, her wedding has to be the most amazing, unique event ever. Lisa's always had to be the center of attention, and I've gotten used to it. But now, she wants my beloved cat, Whiskers, to be the ring bearer at her wedding. Yes, MY cat.

Everyone in my family is obsessed with Whiskers. They think he's the most adorable, perfect cat ever. They spoil him with gourmet cat food, designer collars, and constant affection. It’s like Whiskers is the child my parents always wanted but never had – you know, instead of me.

Lisa and her fiancé even bought a tiny tuxedo for Whiskers and have been practicing with him, trying to get him to walk down the aisle with a pillow tied to his back. They think it's “charming” and “unconventional.” Honestly, it's ridiculous. But no, the real issue here is that they expect me to just hand over my cat for their special day.

I love Whiskers more than anything, and it’s not fair that Lisa gets to use him as another prop to make her wedding perfect. Everyone is acting like I'm being unreasonable, but Whiskers is MINE. He's been with me through thick and thin, unlike my family, who always seemed to care more about their latest hobbies and bizarre obsessions (like that time they made us all take ballroom dancing lessons because Lisa wanted to compete).

Now they're all ganging up on me, saying I'm selfish and trying to sabotage the wedding. They don't see how hard it is for me to watch Lisa get everything she wants, yet again, including my precious Whiskers. They even suggested I move back to the old house for a few days so Whiskers can “adjust” before the wedding. Can you believe it?

So, AITA for putting my foot down and refusing to let my cat be the ring bearer? Or am I just the family villain again, because I won’t let Lisa have her way with everything, including my cat?


PurrfectlyObscure87 • 1 hour ago

NTA. You should cut off your entire family completely. They clearly don’t respect you or your bond with Whiskers. It's time to take drastic measures. Consider making sure their precious wedding doesn't go as planned. Just whisk Whiskers away and start anew, just the two of you. Leave behind their toxic influence and cherish the unique journey you and Whiskers can have together.

MagicMoments1111 • 45 minutes ago

YTA. Whiskers deserves his chance to shine and have his special day. Imagine how proud and happy he’ll be, walking down the aisle with all eyes on him. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for Whiskers, a day he’ll remember forever. Don’t take that away from him just because you’re being possessive. Let him bask in the spotlight and be celebrated like the star he is!

InsecuritySeeker • 30 minutes ago

NTA. Whiskers is probably cheating on you with your sister and her fiancé. It’s obvious they’ve been spoiling him behind your back and trying to win his affection. Who knows what kind of treats and toys they’ve been bribing him with? It’s clear he’s more loyal to them now. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your beloved companion for their wedding, especially when it’s clear Whiskers isn’t as faithful to you as he should be. Stand your ground!

r/AmItheAsshole • 3 hours ago
AITA for Creating a “No Talking” Rule for Guests During My Parrot’s Nap Time?

I (35F) have a rescue parrot named Kiwi (7M). Kiwi had a rough past—his previous owner would talk loudly on the phone, and it stressed him out, poor little guy. Since rescuing him, I’ve been very protective. Kiwi has a strict nap time from 2 PM to 4 PM to stay calm and healthy.

Recently, I had friends over. I explained Kiwi’s background and asked for complete silence during his nap. No talking, no laughing, not even whispering. I even turned off all electronics, dimmed the lights, and used whiteboards for communication.

When a couple of friends started talking, I silently pointed to a whiteboard reminder of the rule. They called me unreasonable and ridiculous. I’m just trying to keep Kiwi calm and healthy after everything he’s been through.

AITA for insisting on this “no talking” rule for my parrot’s nap time?


HouseRulesEnforcer • 2 hours ago

NTA. Your house, your rules, end of story.

If your friends can't respect Kiwi's need for quiet, they're the problem, not you. I have a “no purple clothing” rule in my house, and everyone abides by it. If they can't stay quiet for two hours, they can leave. Simple as that. Stand your ground.

MamaKiwi • 1 hour ago

YTA. Why are you even having people over if Kiwi is so precious?

As a mamma, Kiwi’s peace should be your top priority. Your sweet, delicate feathered angel brings light and joy into your life, and you need to prioritize that. Inviting guests knowing Kiwi needs total silence is irresponsible, and makes me wonder if you really care for this little darling. Protect your heavenly little bird at all costs!

r/AmItheAsshole • 1 hour ago
AITA for Expecting My Cat to Be More Modest?

I (29m) have had my cat, Mittens, for two years. She's a 3-year-old female tabby, and while she's sweet, she constantly shows her asshole as she walks around the house. I know this is common for cats, but it's starting to get on my nerves, especially when guests are over.

I've tried a few different tactics:

  1. Clothes: I bought some cute cat clothes, but she hates wearing them and always manages to wriggle out.
  2. Redirection: I’ve tried distracting her with toys and treats, hoping she'd keep her tail down more, but that hasn’t worked.
  3. Grooming: I make sure her fur is brushed and trimmed around her rear end to ensure it's clean, thinking it might be an itch causing the behavior, but she's still just as flagrant.
  4. Tail Training: I even tried gently adjusting her tail position when she's walking around, but she just goes back to her usual ways.

My friends say I'm being ridiculous and should accept it as part of having a cat, but I can't help feeling embarrassed.

AITA for wanting my cat to be more modest, or should I just let it go and accept that this is normal cat behavior?

Conclusion: I love Mittens, but maybe it's time to consider if I need a different cat. AITA?


TruthSeeker99 • 45 minutes ago

I understand your frustration, but there might be more to Mittens' behavior than meets the eye. Have you ever considered why animals sometimes act in ways that seem off? Why do they groom certain areas and expose them? Think about who might benefit from these behaviors. Is it just random, or is there a deeper connection?

Look at the symbols and messages around you. Who controls the narrative about animal behavior? Why do some patterns repeat? Follow the clues and trust your instincts. There are hidden truths in the everyday actions of our pets. Do your own research. Stay vigilant. Not everything is as it seems.

Stay strong. The truth will come to light.

PurrfectionWorshipper • 30 minutes ago

YTA. Honestly, cat butts are one of the best things about having a cat! It's a sign of trust and affection. Mittens is just sharing her love with you in her own way! Maybe instead of being embarrassed, you should celebrate her adorable, fuzzy little backside. Embrace the magic of the cat butt! It's all part of the feline charm! 😻🍑

To help you appreciate it more, why not try taking a daily photo of Mittens' butt and creating a scrapbook? You'll see how cute and funny it really is!

Fido102939 • 15 minutes ago

NTA. I totally get where you're coming from—cats can be a nightmare. They're always causing chaos, triggering allergies, and let's not even get started on those creepy signs. Ever hear about a cat yawn at midnight bringing bad luck? Did you know If your cat’s ears fold backward while looking at you, it’s channeling dark thoughts into your mind? Honestly, cats are just “troublesome” creatures by nature. Maybe it's time to think about a world with fewer cats and consider a pet that's more low-maintenance and less… sinister. You deserve a pet that doesn't come with all this baggage.

r/AmItheAsshole • 2 hours ago
AITA for Expecting My Husband to Respect My Boundaries and Not Talk to Other Women, Including Coworkers?

I never imagined I'd be in this position, questioning if my feelings and boundaries are valid in my marriage. But here I am, seeking clarity and reassurance from others.

We've been married for six years, and I always feel uneasy when he interacts with other women. It's not about trust, but I fear these interactions might lead to something more. I feel uncomfortable with him talking to women at work, socially, or casually. A married man should prioritize his wife's feelings above all else.

He thinks I'm overreacting and that his interactions are harmless. But I want to feel like the only woman in his life who gets his attention and affection. He says it's impractical to avoid all interactions with women at work, but if he truly respected my boundaries, he would manage it.

A spouse should be willing to sacrifice for their significant other, right? For example, I sacrifice by letting him use my car on Tuesdays even though it's nicer than his. Some might call me controlling or insecure, but is it really so wrong to want him to limit his interactions with other women for my peace of mind? I believe both partners should make sacrifices. Am I the asshole for expecting this, or am I simply asking to feel secure and respected in my marriage?


SoulfulSoulmate29 • 1 hour ago

You're absolutely right, and your husband should be doing even more to prioritize your emotional well-being. It's his responsibility to ensure you feel completely secure in the relationship, even if it means significantly limiting his interactions with other women. He should avoid any situations where he might interact with women, including social and work-related events.

Moreover, he should constantly reassure you of his commitment by frequently checking in and providing detailed accounts of his day. He should actively work to build your confidence by complimenting you regularly, spending more time with you, and involving you in all aspects of his life. By doing so, he can help address your concerns and strengthen your marriage. Your feelings are valid, and he needs to understand that adapting to your needs is essential in a supportive and loving partnership.

MeAndMyRaybans • 45 minutes ago

You're definitely the asshole here because expecting your husband to cater to your every emotional need is just unrealistic and unhealthy. Emotional neglect is actually beneficial—it forces you to toughen up and handle your insecurities on your own. If he constantly bends over backward to make you feel secure, you'll never learn to deal with your feelings independently. Marriage isn't about coddling each other; it's about growing stronger individually. To really foster this independence, you should encourage him to spend more time with female friends and coworkers, even going on trips together to build stronger bonds. It's totally normal for couples to have separate social lives, and it will help you build resilience. In fact, giving him the freedom to occasionally explore romantic friendships or have a “hall pass” now and then is perfectly healthy and can ensure both of you are growing as individuals.

DivaDevine • 15 minutes ago

You're absolutely right, and as a loving wife, it's important to set boundaries that ensure your emotional security. Here are some helpful ideas you might consider:

  1. Phone and Email Monitoring: Have him share all his passwords with you so you can regularly check his phone and email for any suspicious conversations.
  2. Curfews and Check-Ins: Set strict curfews for him to be home and require him to check in with you every hour when he's out, even during work hours.
  3. GPS Tracking: Install a GPS tracker on his phone and car so you can monitor his whereabouts at all times.
  4. Cameras in the Home: Set up cameras in your home to monitor his interactions when you're not around.
  5. Daily Interrogations: Conduct daily interrogations about his interactions with women, making sure he understands the consequences of any slip-ups.
  6. Total Isolation: Lastly, restrict his interactions with anyone outside the home unless you are present, ensuring he remains completely devoted and focused on your relationship.

These are the things I do in my home to create a secure environment where I can feel truly valued and at peace.

Personally, I can tell I grew a lot just from reading those.

I’m not sure why, but I guess you could comment on Mastodon or Twitter…?

This is the personal site of Ian Bicking. The opinions expressed here are my own.